5 and 1: Touches
by Cheekyamericangrl211
Summary: It's very difficult to get past initial touches, but hopefully, new ones will be formed. K/S don't like, don't read- updates in chapters
1. Initial Touch

Hi all! This is Cheeky!! My first Spirk Story... and it's a 5 and one lawl- will be updated in increments :3

This is a Kirk! centric Spock love story... Angst.. kinda ^^;

**I DON'T OWN STAR TREK NEW OR OLD**!! If I did, there'd be more than just subtle innuendos there....

A/w, Enjoy

I

The first time Spock made any type of contact with Kirk was on the bridge. To Kirk, bringing up someones recently deceased mother in the hopes of gaining a Captaincy he only 3 years earlier would have been loath to have, was, well, ironic. However, while being held under the tight grip of the angry Vulcan, he felt some type of karmic retribution had been dealt out, avenging him and the humiliation and hurt he felt during the Kobayashi Maru hearing. That part of his being he'd been trying to run from ever since he was a small boy was brought painfully back to the surface during that time; Being identified and compared to a man he never knew, only learning bits and pieces about his life from from history, or when his mother wasn't trying to actively avoid looking at him long enough to tell him a short story. It wasn't because Pike had asked him to join the fleet, or he wanted to carry on his father's legacy; instead, he wanted to out do his old man, and to have people look at HIM, not some dead guy who happened to help in creating him.

It's amazing what you'll think about while having the life literally squeezed out of you, he thought bitterly. He'd been prepared for a physical retaliation, sure, but he had forgotten that 3 times stronger than humans factor, and when they have the intent to KILL you, he's pretty sure it went up 12 factors. As he slowly lost consciousness, the firm voice of Sarek came out over his hazy mind, and he slowly felt the pressure ease up from his throat, dropping unceremoniously to the floor, retching and attempting to regain his composure. He barely heard the "Unfit for duty" and "emotionally compromised." he'd risked his-literally- neck to hear, and looking into the eyes of his Adversary, he saw something he did not expect- anguish. Utter loneliness.

It wouldn't be until after he and Spock saved the earth they'd be on any type of normal speaking terms. Even with that, Jim still wasn't comfortable. It was a feeling he would get around Spock- one that he'd never admit to anyone, not even Bones- an uneasy, unnerving stomach retching feeling, that Captain James T. Kirk has only experienced while watching movies or riding intergalactic roller coasters. James T. Kirk, Captain of the USS Enterprise

was afraid of his first officer.

And since that fateful day on the bridge that won him a new ship- he'd carefully avoided Spock's touch. As long as it did not hinder ether's effectiveness to run their ship- it was a beneficial arrangement. And Jim never touched Spock.

_Comments are loved!! Feed back is appreciated! :3_


	2. Second Touch: Violent realization

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Kirk or Spock, and if I did, I don't believe I'd be writing fan-fiction, now would I?

**_R&R_**!!!!

II

Jim still hadn't touched Spock

in the 6 months they'd been working together- through the Klingon War Bird ambushes and many a botched scientific explorations of seemingly uninhabited planets- _(aha, screw you universe, you can't kill this young cocky captain just yet) _ the need hadn't come up, and that was fine by Jim, and, he assumed, Spock.

He was still nervous around Spock, ("fear" hadn't been the proper word after the first 3 months- they'd been through too much by that point for him to be afraid)but could easily curtail that when on duty. He was a professional, and what came first was his job- after that, his personnel-after that his loved ones- and after that his own personal problems could be dealt with. The way he dealt with them, obviously, was to ignore them.

In these 6 months with Spock, he'd never once slapped him on the back and "congratulate" him, he'd never accidentally brushed shoulders with him; Hell he hadn't even tapped him on the shoulder to try to get his attention. In fact, Jim had made it a point to avoid Spock whenever possible; be they walking down the same corridor, (Jim would either slow down so much that Spock would eventually disappear from his view, or he'd divert his original course in the opposite direction, thus giving him an intimate picture of His ship.) or just in the same room together when off duty.( "Oh, hey Spock" "Captain" "I had no idea you were here..." "I'm finishing a project for-" "Oh shit, you know what? I think I forgot something on the bridge- I'll catch you later, ok?" "...of course, Captain.") Jim had gotten pretty damn good at hedging, but he was starting to run out of options. Of course he couldn't really go to Bones- his methods would involve Hippocratic Oath violations even _JIM_ wouldn't be comfortable with- and if anyone else on this ship caught wind of the type of 'dance' he was doing with Spock, the crew moral not only would be shot, but Star fleet's razor-edge trust in him would almost be none existent.

This "Spock problem" he had was definitely eating away at him- he hadn't had a proper sleep in weeks, and he was just about at the end of his rope with this. When he'd all but fallen asleep on the bridge("Keptain" "azzzzz-wah?" "Ve are about to arriwe at New Wulcan in approximately 0200 hours, if ve continue at our present trajectory." "-ahem- Thank you, Chekhov. Keep me posted."), he decided to take things to the gym, where he usually vented his frustrations to an old beat up punching bag he'd found in the back of the engineering room. (he didn't bother to ask how it got there, and no one seemed to question the old relic's sudden re-appearance in the rec room.)

As he took his first tentative jabs, he concentrated on letting go; Left hooks for pent up frustrations with Star Fleet, right taps for nerves he felt when they'd have an planet-side mission, left jabs for the writing the "I'm sorry to inform you, but your son/daughter died while serving on the USS Enterprise", Combo punches for his "Spock" problem.

Kirk was able to get over a lot of things; the loss of a father, and subsequently a family he'd never know, the man he was forced to call father and his constant abuse while his mother was off-world, even having the shit kicked out of him by Star fleet's "Finest"(he and "Cupcake" were pretty solid now; he's one hell of an security officer.) So why was he so bothered with Spock?

He focused more on the bag, working out all the mental- and physical- kinks his body had harbored after this long week.

He was so focused and dedicated, he most definitely didn't hear the soft foot steps across the empty rec-room, nor did he stop and turn around when the presence began to slowly advance; In fact, he noticed nothing at all until the soft brush of a warm hand made it's way to his back only briefly.

Now, This here young captain is well known for reacting without thinking things all the way through. Also, having a rather-sketchy to say the least-youth, had instilled some more-than-not unhealthy habits that he was never really able to kick. For instance, he'd never been comfortable with people touching his back; claps on the back, or a hug were one thing, but just place your hand when he wasn't ready, he'd automatically jerk away, or swat at the offender; Nothing too serious. However, when he was in the ZONE, punching a 50-pound punching bag with enough force to rock it significantly...well, let's just say that if you were anyone other than Spock, you'd be in the infirmary, sporting an icepack for the left side of your face, while trying hard not to laugh as the "Good Doctor" read Jim the riot act.

But, seeing as it was Spock, and not some inept-red-shirt-ensign, we can safely say that, when Jim swung, he didn't HIT anything, per-say; rather, he startled the heck out of the Vulcan, sending him flying to the floor with an unflattering 'fwump', and having said half Vulcan attempt to not give you a "what the fuck look" from the floor.

"Oh...." Was Jim's intelligent response to this situation. He'd never seen Spock on the ground really; he was normally straight backed, hands clasped firmly in place, with a poise most seasoned Admiral's would be envious to posses, or he was busy trying to keep the both of them alive and relatively unharmed.

"Captain." was Spock's equally inspiring answer. Spock had turned his not 'what-the-fuck' look for an actual 'not-glare' at Kirk. If they had been anyone else, they'd have melted into the floor, but of course, this is Kirk we're talking about, and he wasn't about to let this Vulcan reduce him to a pile of Captain goo because he gave him a look.

"Yes, First officer?" was Kirks equally cool response. (A/N: aren't they so articulate?)

"I had not realized my... intrusion would illicit such a radical response; I apparently miscalculated."

Kirk just shrugged; personally, he didn't realize it either. "What do you need?"

Spock shifted ever so slightly, looking up at the young captain with a slightly worried? Look.

Silence.

"Spock?" Kirk tried again.

"Captain.... I was under the impression that when a Terran was feeling impaired, they would often take to their quarters to receive adequate rest..."

".... say what?"

"I meant to say that, if you are feeling unwell, should you not be located in your quarters, rather than in a public facility, such as the Recreation room?"

At this point, Spock was still sitting on the floor, in an somewhat uncomfortable position, with the captain seemingly looming over him, unsure as to what to do next. They'd never been in a room together long enough to establish conversational skills with the other, and so, to say that it was an "Awkward" Situation would be a little redundant.

"Ah... yea....I guess so... thank you, Mr. Spock, for your...insight..."

Jim figured he should help Spock up off the floor, yet... he couldn't. His body literally was paralyzed to the spot. He tried to twitch his hand out ward, move his leg forward, ANYTHING to get them to move forward, and they just wouldn't. He was transfixed, staring down his first officer with no intent to harm, but more rather to find a decent and pliable escape route. Of course, Jim wasn't worried; he hadn't been worried when he and Spock were about to take on the Narada, and he hadn't been too damn worried when thrown into the stock, so archaically called by the natives of said Uninhabited planet. So, logically, it wouldn't be able to explain his sudden need to run, anywhere at this point, or why his first instinct was to fly rather stand and fight; That gut wrenching feeling he felt was coming back; so many conflicting sensations- anger, hatred, comradeship, trust; all these swirling in his head as he stared down his seemingly stoic, calm, and seemingly confused first.

Jim couldn't take it; he turned his flushed face and cobalt eyes from his attacker. He felt Spock slowly lift his perfectly balanced body off the floor with zero difficulty, and begin to make his way to the entrance.

"Spock, wait." Illogical, irrational.

"Would you care to...Spar with me?" Terror, irrational.

"excuse me, captain, I seem not able to under-"

"Just...spar with me, please?"

"...Very well."

Carefully, Jim tapped at Spock, and Spock likewise was tentative, but after a few hours, they were full on beating each other almost; Jim venting and letting go; Spock, well, Jim learned Spock, for all his Vulcan training, was as competitive and combative as nearly any HUMAN he'd met. It made for a good fight, though, as Jim guessed from experience, he was holding back quite a bit. As they slowly came to a finishing point in their match, both- at least, Jim ASSUMED (damn Vulcan physiology) breathing heavily, he began to laugh; A true, gut wrenching, 'holy crap my innards are about to grow muscle mass" laugh. He'd been terrified out of his mind to fight Spock- he thought he was crazy for even asking- but he found it a better release his Punching bag could have offered any day. The relief he felt from still being alive, was so overwhelming, he had to express it some way that didn't involve falling on his face; that would be too undignified.

"Captain?"

"Heh...Proceed, Mr. Spock."

"Are you intoxicated?"

"Wha-? Spock, seriously, when would I have time?

"Then I am to assume that you are on no type of legal, or illigal narcotic at this time?"

"Yes, Spock, I'm CLEAN...why do you ask, anyway?"

"My apologies, Captain. It just didn't occur to me, (although, it would clarify many incidents in my mind), that you were a Masochist."

"...."

".... if I over stepped-"

"Spock, Spock, Spock, listen: Just because it was one of the most convoluted ways of insulting my fighting skills ever, I'm not going to fly off the deep-end because of it."

Then Jim did a thing he'd never thought he'd ever do in his entire career with Star Fleet;

He placed his hand firmly on Spock's shoulder and gave a gentle squeeze. If Jim had a camera at the exact moment Spock realized what was happening, he would have framed it and put it on his wall.

Jim smiled widely; Maybe this 5-year mission won't be so bad.

* * *

So, I hope you Nu! Trekers caught my rather blatant old! Trek references- my story will be riddled with it. It sounds so finished, don't it?

"but but but- you said this is a 5 and 1 shot!!"

AND SO I DID!! I'm not finished with this baby, not in the least!!

And, I'm really sorry about the late update- school eats my life force more than the resident Tribbles living under my bed ;

also please note I have no beta tester, so the spell check and what not may not be the best in the world ^w^; I try!!! a/w, Much love to my fans!! **R&R!!!! 3 Cheeky**


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